Still, he’s the first person who comes to mind when people think Psychology. Like the time when my husband, Brian, said that that we should open a bar where the bartenders are actually therapists, so that depressed people can go there to drink away their pain as they confide in trained mental health professionals. I told Brian it was a terrible idea, but if we went through with it, the bar could be called The Freudian Sip.
But hey, Freud had his good points too. He is responsible for a few key contributions to this field of science, one of which is the analysis of dreams. Freud believed dreams contain symbols that, if analyzed, reveal a person’s unconscious thoughts, drives, and desires.
So if you are having a recurring dream at night, pay attention– your brain is communicating an important message to you, over and over again. And therefore, it’s crucial for you to understand and resolve it.
Below are 4 questions that will guide you in analyzing the underlying message of your recurring dream. Ask yourself:
1. What people or objects play a key role in the dream?
My recurring dream involves my favorite songwriter, John Mayer. My life kind of revolves around him. Clearly.
2. What is your goal or objective?
My goal is to have sex with John Mayer (Only in Dream Land, okay husband?), or at least make out with him. Which is odd because he’s never been my celerity crush or anything.
But what happens in my recurring dream is that it takes me FOREVER to seduce John with my witty jokes and Filipino charms. And finally, right when I see that look in his eyes– you know, the one where someone wants to grab your face and kiss you or else they’ll explode– John abruptly excuses himself to use the bathroom, as if to say, You’re *almost* attractive and intriguing, but you’ve got a ways to go.
And then I wake up. Womp-womp.
3. What primary emotions are experienced in and after the dream?
So obviously I’m feeling frustrated. (I was sooo close to my goal!) I’m also depressed by the end of the dream. (Really? I couldn’t seal the deal? Not even while lying in a bed together in a dimly lit hotel room? Epic fail!)
And upon waking, I always feel confused. Honestly, in real life I don’t want to date this celebrity playboy. He’s no good for me. He’s not my type. He’s not even the kind of person I could imagine being friends with, not even if he were a plain old civilian, like me. So what could all of this mean?
This leads us to the most important question…
4. How does the conflict in your dream relate to a real-life conflict you’re currently struggling with?
So here’s what I recently noticed about my John Mayer sex dreams: I spend most of them trying to maintain a relationship with someone whose personality I don’t like. And this has been a major problem in my life.
I hate “giving up” on relationships. It makes me feel like I’ve failed at creating harmony between myself and the other person. I’ve failed at connecting. I’ve failed at loving and being loved. I hate knowing that there are limits to the things I’m best at.
But Lord knows this flawed way of thinking hasn’t served me well in life.
Sure, it’s fun and satisfying to unlock the meaning of a recurring dream. But I think the biggest reward is growing as as a result of your revelation. Recurring dreams beg us to change ourselves or our circumstances.
And now I’m tasked with being able to gracefully set boundaries in relationships with people who are a bad match for my personality. Maybe then John Mayer will stop disappointing me.