Whenever I leave a far-from-perfect job for a better one, I temporarily forget all the hardships of the job I’m resigning from, putting it on a pedestal and romanticizing it simply because it’s slipping away from my fingers.
My husband Brian joked, “The only time you like your job is when you’re about to leave it.” Which is a tragic way to live. You’ll never be happy in the present if you romanticize your past.
Remember the guy who broke my heart and grew my balls? It just dawned on me that my romanticized recollection of the infamous Mr. “Me, But With A Penis” made it so that for the longest time, Brian could never live up to him. It’s why I went so long without being able to say, “I love you” to the guy who would eventually become my husband. In fact, Brian and I would say “Meatloaf, Hugh Jackman” instead, because “loaf” and “Hugh” spoken one right after the other sounds like “Love you”…and that’s as close as I could get to being verbally affectionate with someone who wasn’t my romanticized ex-boyfriend.
Reality is hard to swallow, especially when fantasy lets us erase pain, drown out imperfection, close our eyes to our own mistakes, and avoid healthy risks we must take to build the life we want. Time also has a way of exaggerating the truth. But a sober view of your past enables you to make sober decisions in the present, so that you’re not a weirdo who says things like “Meatloaf, Hugh Jackman” to your boyfriend.